How to Have a Family and Study Medicine

Do you want to start a family, but feel unsure about adding another stressful dimension to medical school? For a variety of reasons, many medical students opt to start their families while still in medical school. The first step in the journey of doctor and parent? Understand that it’s possible.

While not necessarily endless, the possibilities exist for you to have a baby during medical school. Some advice from moms who have done it? Consider two logical breaks: take some time off after second year and plan to return for third year, or postpone residency for a year after graduation. Know that you can make it — with the support from your medical school, your family, and your partner. It’s not easy, but it’s not impossible either. Let’s take a closer look at four tips that can help you on your path to becoming a doctor—and a parent.

1. Plan Ahead

If you’re thinking about medical school, in the throes of it, or just beginning your residency, you need to weigh all of your possibilities—and it depends on where you are in the process. Make sure that your program has support services for medical student families. Not all medical programs support the idea of starting a family while in school. Is there a maternity leave program already in place? If so, how much notice does your school need? If you choose to breastfeed, will you be able to breastfeed in lecture halls? Will there be a safe place to pump breast milk? Also, contemplate the geographic area—does it seem like a good place to raise kids? Is there a daycare nearby? Can you ask your family for help? If you can make some plans and get some help in place, you’ll do great.

2. Implement a Schedule

A well-structured schedule can make parenting—and studying—accessible and achievable. Put your family needs first and work around them. If you plan on having your child in daycare, plan the days and hours that your child will be there, and work around them with classes and studying. When your child is home, having a loose, flexible schedule with playtime, mealtime, and bedtime will help you figure out when you can go to class, study, and make time for your partner. The other benefit of having a schedule? When you have to deviate from it (and you will) getting back into the groove a well-established routine is a piece of cake.

3. Accept Imperfection

Give that Type-A, perfection-seeking self that got you to this point in the first place a pass—at least on some things. Contrary to how you’ve prepared yourself to this point, imperfection is your friend. If you’re going to start a family in medical school, don’t weigh yourself down with the idea that you have to have a perfect GPA. Didn’t earn that “A” on the last exam? Don’t sweat it. Pass. More importantly, learn. Get enough sleep, eat right, allocate your family time (see #2). Your time is valuable—so is your family and your chosen career path. Treat all with respect, accept that you might not ace it all in the classroom, and off you go. Remember your priorities.

4. Consider Timing

Women, take note: although more women have children in their later years, the healthiest time for a woman to become pregnant is in her 20s and 30s. This typically coincides perfectly with a woman’s most intense career demands. Medical school, residency, and fellowship all happen at this time—it’s also when your finances are least stable. If you postpone pregnancy until your mid-30s or later, you run into a greater chance for risk. If you opt to get pregnant during medical school, also consider the amount of time you’d like to be home with your newborn. How will childcare affect your career? Keep in mind your stress levels too—stress hormones affect fetuses and may also appear in breastmilk. Think about your plan for balancing all of it.

With some thought and planning, your decision to start a family in medical school may just be one of the best decisions you can make. You’ll maximize your time management skills, prioritize what matters most, and care for those you love. Isn’t that what physicians do anyway?